The Urus Performante is a car which amusingly conjures up images of Lamborghini engineers huddled round a table, joking about how many climate activists it takes to screw in a light bulb. If ever a car was a colossal middle finger to the green agenda, then this is it. The subject of Super SUVs is already a contentious one, so to take an Urus and make it louder, faster and more expensive was always going to rile people up. And for perhaps the first time behind the wheel of a car, I could feel it. I’ve driven my fair share of shouty, willy-waving motors, but the Perf’ takes the proverbial. Predictably, kids and car enthusiasts were enchanted by it, but in my five days with the Urus, I was the subject of more disapproving looks than I’ve ever received in any low slung slice of exotica I’ve had the privilege of piloting. And you know what? I didn’t give a rat’s you-know-what.

My selfish rational was this: vehicles like the Urus Perf’ were always going to be a flash in the pan, a brief moment in history when supercar engineers were allowed off the leash to create the most hysterical, bonkers car they could ever wish to concoct, and I for one was intent on enjoying it while I could. Performance SUVs have always been a bit of guilty pleasure because the notion of making a large car not just move quickly but handle well, has always tickled me. Logic should dictate that such things aren’t possible, and so I find it deeply impressive when clever people manage to engineer their way round the fundamental laws of physics.  

I remember spending some time with a standard Urus a few years back and being amazed by its breadth of ability, but with the Performante, it’s clear that Lambo were keen to bring out the big bull’s wilder side. The biggest change on the Perf’ is the removal of the air suspension in favour of steel springs which lowers the ride by 20mm and reduces the centre of gravity, bringing increased dynamic ability. Elsewhere, the front and rear tracks are wider. There’s a new Torsen centre differential with active torque vectoring at the rear. The steering and throttle have been recalibrated for quicker response. A new aero kit brings an overall downforce increase of eight per cent, and it weighs 47kg less than an Urus S thanks to more carbon fibre panels and forged wheels with titanium wheel bolts. However, don’t mistaken it for some lightweight SUV, because despite the weight reduction it still weighs 2,150kg at the kerb.

Behind the wheel however, you quickly forget how porky it is because the only thing that reminds you that you’re in an SUV is the lofty driving position. It’s not an exaggeration to say that it accelerates like a supercar, and in the corners, it handles like a sports car.

The twin-turbo 4.0 litre V8 engine sees a small uplift in power, with the Perf’ putting out 657bhp, although the torque figure is the same 627lb ft. as in the Urus S. It’s not just quick for an SUV, it’s fast, full stop. Zero to 62mph takes just 3.3 seconds and it will hit a top speed of 190mph. And because it’s four wheel drive, you get seamless, all-weather traction in even the most sodden conditions. It also now sounds even angrier thanks to a factory-fit titanium exhaust system from Akrapovic which thunderously rumbles away when you come off the throttle. The engine might be used in other VW Group cars like the Audi RS6 and Bentley Bentayga, but in the Lambo, it has a personality all of its own.

Most impressive though, is the way it monsters a twisty piece of road. Close to home I have a driving route which is full of tight, off-camber corners which present a stern test of any car’s dynamic prowess, but the Urus Performante set about decimating the twists and turns with very little body roll and a front end that doesn’t know the meaning of understeer. The only thing that unnerved me slightly was the recalibrated steering which is too light and left me feeling a touch disconnected from the front wheels, even if visually I knew where they were positioned on the road. For such a large car, I’d have liked to be more keyed in to the road surface, but steering feel aside, it’s uncanny what the Perf’ is capable of when the mood takes you. This is also partly down to the Pirelli Trofeo R tyres – yes, you read the correctly, hardcore rubber on an SUV – which offer monstrous levels of grip. Carbon ceramic brakes also ensure it stops well, although if you did venture on to a track, the jury’s out on how long they would endure before fading, given the weight and sheer forces at play.

The typical Lambo driving modes were present and included Strada, Sport and Corsa, with a new option called Rally which is meant to be used for sliding around on loose surfaces – Tyrone would love that! You can also use the Ego mode to configure the powertrain, steering and suspension independently of one another. Cycling through the driving modes also changes the responsiveness of the eight-speed dual-clutch gearbox, which when ramped up in to Corsa snaps through down changes with real ferocity.

As far as SUVs go, the Performante is by far the most driver focussed example I’ve driven, but as with other track-inspired performance cars, that focus comes at the expense of ride quality. While not terrible in Strada mode, it has lost the suppleness that came with air suspension. This becomes apparent when you encounter more severe bumps in the road, particularly when you’re travelling at pace. Sometimes, getting some speed beneath you can help a car breath over the bigger imperfections, but the Perf’ likes none of it and requires a smooth piece of tarmac before properly settling down. Put it in to Corsa and the ride can become quite jarring.

On the plus side, at least you won’t scrape the floor like you do in other Lambos. Also, because only 47kg of weight has been stripped out, all the sound deadening has remained intact, meaning it doesn’t suffer from wind and road noise despite the stupendously large wheels. This brings us neatly to the cabin. My two favourite materials are carbon fibre and Alcantara, and to my delight, Lamborghini got the memo. I’ve never seen so much Alcantara in a car before – the dash, headlining, steering wheel, door bins, door trim, seats and boot partition were caked in it. The carbon trim was unlacquered and smooth to the touch, and the rest of the cabin was built well with quality materials. The other upshot of abundant faux suede and carbon is that it distracts you from the amount of Audi lurking around the interior, but the Urus has now been around long enough we can forgive Lamborghini for upcycling some German switchgear.

What truly matters when paying upwards of £210,000 for a hardcore SUV from Lamborghini is theatre, and let me tell you, the Urus Performante has it in spades. Not only does it look entirely bonkers, but it moves at a pace that no large thing should, it drinks super unleaded at a rate of 14mpg, the noise from the exhaust borders on comical, and it will make the kids and family dog throw up. The Urus Perf’ is a car of bombastic excess in a world that can’t stop taking itself seriously, and for that reason alone, it’s nothing short of utterly wonderful.